


Strax Writes

by raincallsx



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Crack, I did NOT write this high, Kissing, Multi, Strax lives his best life, Swearing, a LOT of glorious battle mentioned, crackfic, sleep deprived nonsense, this entire this is on crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23223688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raincallsx/pseuds/raincallsx
Summary: Strax gets bored, And after finding out what fanfiction was, he decides to write some about his fellow friendscrackfic obvi
Relationships: Graham O’Brien/Strax, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, The Doctor/ The Master
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31





	1. Janto

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy this utter nonsense that came out of my head because i sure don’t. I hope yall enjoy and honestly I’m impressed you made it this far.
> 
> This is the first ive published in years jinkies I’m sorry

Ianto Jones awoke from his place in bed, after getting the adequate amount of rest for a human boy, he decided to get up to go to work. He worked for a place called Torchwood. He enjoyed his place of employment and was quite an honorable man.

He fueled himself mainly with coffee, which is not an adequate source of nutrition for any human, let alone a growing boy. He suited up in his battle armour which was quite flimsy considering it was a suit jacket over a polyester shirt.

He continued on his way to work. He had an elevated heart rate and was secreting a lot of sweat. He was fearful, which was not very honourable. He was nervous to see his boss Captain Jack Harkness. 

Jack was kind of a bad boy. He was very strong and tough and even though he could not know the glory of dying in GLORIOUS BATTLE, he still fought in many of them. They both fought alongside the Doctor many times.

Ianto blushed as he walked into his place of employment and saw bad boy Jack wrapped up in his Large Coat.

He sat down across the room and began to do monotonous paperwork. The bad boy was staring at him and Ianto blushed some more because his pathetic human physiology gave away his emotions. Finally, he had enough of the staring and stood up. Jack walked over to him.

“You look very well today, human scum.”

“Much gratitudes Captain.” Ianto saluted as was appropriate to do to your superior officer

The Captain then kissed him and their tongues fought for GLORIOUS DOMINANCE IN THEIR BATTLE. Jack came out to be the winner because he is an experienced Bad Boy.

They continued on like this until their team members were at the door to their pace of work.

Ianto continued to blush because he is shy and also a loser who found no glory.

Jack laughed because he deserved it for winning the battle of tongues.  
They all lived happily ever after…. Or did they? Find out next time on Story Time with Strax!!!!!


	2. Coffee Shop Straham

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The number one couple finally meets! Bow down to your overlords

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DT regen and the fellow members of the Cult of Straham 
> 
> Happy April fools day! Stay safe out there:)

If i lay here  
If i just lay here  
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

-Snow Patrol

———————

It was a GLORIOUS and beautiful day in the country called London. An adequate planet, if not too warm for any good Sontaran’s liking. 

On this day, one quite attractive Sontaran was walking down the street. His name was Strax. 

Strax walked into a coffee shop run by a pitiful human scum. He had an important mission to retrieve a coffee for the Honorable Doctor. It was then that he saw a certain human. 

The Sontaran stopped nearly DEAD in his tracks. There was a GLORIOUS SPECIMEN of a human before him! 

Strax walked up to the man, “Greetings, human. You look as if you have received very adequate nutrition! What a wise and glorious face you have! What is your name sir?”

The beautiful man before him smiled and it stirred something in the Sontaran. Was this what the humans called ‘love?’

“‘Ello there. My names Graham O’Brien. Lovely to meet you, love.” He said

Strax blushed. He was now in for a glorious chase of this Graham’s heart. A battle he was CERTAIN he would win. 

“My name is Commander Strax of the GLORIOUS SONTARAN EMPIRE. You look very well, but you would look better conquered on the sheets of my sleeping accommodations! Ha!”

Strax was proud of his very complimentary line. 

“Oi, love, anything for that pretty face o’ yours!”

Then, in the middle of the shop, Graham pulled the Sontaran into a TONGUE BATTLE. in the end, of course, Strax won this battle. 

The pair were GLORIOUSLY in love!!

Strax took Graham back to his, forgetting everything about his mission for coffee. 

How do I know this you human scum may ask. Well, I am Strax! Until next time, farewell! Do not forget to consume proper nutrition to keep yourself ready for Battle!


End file.
